In this issue
SPEEDING TICKET
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.
She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday, you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"
“LAUGHTER IS NATURE'S PROZAC”
For those who speed on the Highway----here a few hymns:
• 45mph…………………….God Will Take Care of You
• 55mph…………………….Guide Me, O Thou Great Jehovah
• 65mph…………………….Nearer My God To Thee
• 75mph…………………….Nearer Still Nearer
• 85mph………………….....This World is Not My Home
• 95mph……………………..Lord, I’m Coming Home
• Over 100mph……………...Precious Memories
LET'S CONNECT:
- I am collecting "Blonde Jokes" if you have any please send them to me.
- Have you had a "Blonde Day" lately, tell me about it.
- If you have any suggestions on the newsletter or website, let me know.
www.karangleddie.com
"Karan offers Love and Laughter to women who need Hope."
Karan Gleddie, Writer/Speaker
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The Accidental Motorist
There are two sides to every story when accident-prone drivers fill out insurance claims. The following explanations were taken from actual insurance forms.
“But, officer…”
• Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don’t have.
• The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions.
• The pedestrian had no idea which way to run, so I ran over him.
• I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.
• A truck backed through my windshield into my wife’s face.
• A Pedestrian hit me and went under my car.
• The guy was all over the road; I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.
• In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.
• I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.
• I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.
• To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front of me, I hit the pedestrian.
• My car was legally parked as it backed into the other car.
• An invisible cat came out of nowhere, struck my car, and vanished.
• I told the police that I was not injured but on removing my hat I found that I had fractured my skull.
• I thought my window was down but I found out that it was up when I put my head through it.
• I saw a slow moving, sad-faced old man as he bounced off the roof of my car.
• The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.
• I was thrown from the car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.
• The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out of its way when it struck the front end of my car.
• I was on the way to the doctor with rear-end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.
• I was unable to stop in time and my car crashed into the other vehicle. The driver and passengers then left immediately for a vacation with injuries.
By: Steven Dohanos ~Toronto Sun
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Encouraging Thoughts
Encouraging Thoughts from Karan:
My life speeds along so rapidly, I feel like I am on the highway of life, just racing to keep up with my to-do-list. At times, everything seems completely out of control, with family, stresses, work, and other people’s expectations.
I remember when our family was going through a very painful situation, and because of some previous speaking engagements, I needed to be away during that time.
As I left, I was heartbroken and not sure if I could pull myself together for the next few days. How could I tell women about God’s great love, when I wasn’t even sure that He loved me? I felt abandoned and confused. Driving down the highway, I was sobbing, begging the Lord to help me. I felt I did not have anything to give these women.
I pulled over to the side of the road, still weeping, and noticed that the car radio had been on. At that moment, I heard Charles Stanley say, “The sovereignty of God is the pillow we lay our head upon.” I knew that those words were for me. God had reminded me that no matter what happened, He was in control, and I could trust Him for this journey, wherever it led us. As I pulled back onto the road, I was filled with a new confidence that God was with me, and I felt secure that His plans are bigger, wider, and higher than I could ever imagine or hope for. For the first time in so long, I felt these life-sustaining truths in my broken heart.
He alone knows my joys and pain, successes, failures, and doubts. Nothing ever surprises Him and I have found Him completely trustworthy in every situation. He is enough for me.
Joyfully and Lovingly,
Karan Gleddie
Give me a sense of humor, Lord
give me the Grace to see a joke,
To get some humor out of life
and pass it on to other folk.
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